i dont want it to be this way

 i said goodbye to my support group because it no longer was a support group, we all just sat around like some type of elite club talking about linux and drugs all day... fuck that. people who deal with this illness need something a lot more than an elite club and they certantly dont deserve to be force fed joels drug talk.

they dont deserve the attitude of publios sayins "why am i so fucking crazy" have a brain man, i can't figure out if you are trying to sound cool, bitching, or its rhetorical, but no matter - it doesnt belong in a genuine support group, they dont deserve publios getting drunk every day rambling about how he will quit, no really, this is the last time. fucking go to an AA meeting publios, i wont look down on you if you do, i would look up to you for having the courage to take serious action against your alcohol problem that again DOESNT BELONG IN A SCHIZOPHRENIC support group >:|

some of the people in there are so fragile, if they just think they did something wrong, they leave and dont return for weeks. you guys need to be more gentle for those peoples sakes. im not coming back. i hate that channel now, its nothing i want it to be. and im tired of trying just so people can try to make it their way. you can claim you respect me all you want. but you talk is just talk, im sick of you not showing me respect.

svenny, doomed, missbliss, electricwalrus, umbra, a few others, i have no problem with you, i dont even have a problem for the most part with joel or publios, they just need to be more aware that its supposed to be a support group, not an elite club....

Carly, i dunno if this is it for us, i dont want it to be, but man you make it hard. you are so caring of your other friends publically, but you say nothing of me in public, is cause of your husband? like he would maybe get angry? cause i could understand that, but other than that, i dont understand, i really do care about you, i make absolutly certain you know i care about you and would go out of my way to help you and your family if you guys ever need it. maybe its unwanted, i dunno, but you ... you just dont return the friendship. :(

for now i will speak my peace here. i get bad vibes from facebook, and whenever i post there, i end up getting angry, i hate being angry, i cant think and yell lots when im angry, thats not who i want to be.